When a little heart stops beating, a star begins to shine brightly

At first glance, statistics do not seem to fit with such a highly emotional stroke of fate, but it can be comforting for the grieving process to know that you are not the only person in the world to lose a child. According to the Federal Statistical Office, one in three pregnancies ends prematurely. This includes foetuses that die before the 12th week of pregnancy. Although the infant mortality rate has been falling slightly but steadily for many years, the stillbirth rate has remained relatively stable since the early 1990s. "Unfortunately, the exact cause of stillbirths is unknown in around 30% of all cases. Even women who were only pregnant for a short time feel a profound loss. This should by no means be underestimated," adds the midwife.

The bridge between grief and hope

Everyone deals with grief differently. Often neither those affected nor the relatives themselves know how to deal with the situation. "From my many years of experience, I know that parents urgently need help when their child is not born alive or dies shortly after birth," says Stefan Weller, hospital chaplain at Bethesda. In order to provide parents, siblings and family members with holistic support in this emergency situation, the pastoral care team works closely with the doctors, nursing team and midwives involved. "If someone is needed to talk to, we are on hand and have an open ear, not just for religious concerns of course," emphasises the hospital pastor.

The death of an incoming child leaves its mark not only on the closest family circle, but also on the midwives and other staff at Bethesda Hospital's maternity clinic. "That's why we invite all those affected to share memories, pain, grief and comfort with each other at the memorial service," says Stefan Weller.

The silent birth

If a child dies in the womb, the birth is usually induced with medication. "This takes place in a very intimate atmosphere that allows room for grief," explains Stefanie Germann. There is a lot to discuss during a silent birth: Who should be present? Do you want to hold the child in your arms? How should the child be buried? "It is not unusual for mothers, and even more often fathers, to be afraid of meeting the child. To ensure that the beautiful moments are remembered, the star babies are lovingly dressed and gently embedded surrounded by flowers. Photos, a footprint or a lock of hair also help. A farewell ritual tailored to the needs of the parents is also offered in the Room of Silence or in the ward room. "As far as the possibilities allow, the parents are given the authority to decide how the ritual should be organised, which helps to initiate the grieving process," assures Stefanie Germann.

Tree of Life at Bethesda Hospital

For the past year, a vivid symbol of the memorial services has stood in the Room of Silence at Bethesda Hospital: the tree of life, in whose branches hang small wooden panels in the shape of butterflies with the names of the star children.
The imposing carving unites the four seasons and emphasises that death is part of life. "It is a symbol that even people who can't relate to a cross or who are too familiar with it can relate to," says Stefan Weller.
The tree of life connects cultures and faiths, integrates loss and grief into the circle of life and creates hope - powerfully rooted in the earth and yet with its branches stretching towards the sky.

Contact the self-help group in the region:

Rainbow Association

Mrs Rezia Schwarz, r.notexisting@nodomain.comschwarz@intergga.notexisting@nodomain.comch

Website

https://verein-regenbogen.ch/neue-selbsthilfegruppe-in-therwil-region-basel/