With closeness and security - accompanying my crying baby

The baby has finally arrived and the joy is great. However, if the child cries often, intensely and for a long time, this can become a great burden. But what is behind it when a baby won't stop crying? "From the child's point of view, crying is a signal that indicates a need. In addition to hunger, thirst and the need for closeness or sleep, it can be triggered by a sensory overload or frustration. But it can also be caused by a stressful pregnancy or a difficult birth," explains Dr Cyril Lüdin, paediatrician in charge at Bethesda Hospital and specialist consultant for Emotional First Aid EEH. Colic is often seen as the cause. However, this is rarely the real reason, explains Lüdin: "As the child squirms and contracts, you get the feeling that the stomach hurts. But very few children have an organic ailment. That's why pain treatment rarely solves the crying."

How can this be explained? In many cases, crying has a relieving function. "Pregnancy can be stressful, for example if the mother is always anxious and under constant pressure - this is transferred directly to the unborn child. During pregnancy, the child experiences all of the mother's moods." This is why it is important to hold the crying child in your arms and accompany it as it cries. It is difficult for parents to understand what is behind the constant crying, they become overwhelmed and exhausted.

Crying as a disruptive factor

"If my child cries inconsolably and I can't stop the crying, I'm a bad mum/dad - these are thoughts that are also firmly anchored in society. In this stressful situation, the parents concerned try all kinds of techniques to stop the crying. They become 'beside themselves' through these activities. But the baby needs a relaxed counterpart," says the expert. This is difficult for many young parents, as they are in a new environment and are inundated with advice. "A screaming child wasn't born as such and doesn't want to wear their mum or dad down. It cries because the system is overwhelmed." The problem can therefore often be solved by instilling calm.

Crying releases unpleasant feelings and has a relaxing effect. "If someone can put up with it, the child senses a safe counterpart and is more likely to calm down. I always tell the parents that it's a wonderful thing when the child is allowed to cry in a safe environment. If I walk around calmly and breathe deeply on a regular basis, this can help the other person to relax," says Lüdin. It is important that the parents realise that the crying is not directed at them, but serves to relieve them. A change in attitude is needed so that crying is not seen as a disruptive factor. Parents and grandparents will receive further valuable tips at our public lecture at Bethesda Hospital.